On Going Home

On Monday I called my mom, crying.

I've never called my mom crying. 

Jokingly, I'd like to blame it all on Mercury retrograde.

Hello, Universe? Could you just go back to normal now? K thanks.

Reality hits like a brick when you realize it's not Mercury, but your own mental health. 

Hello, Kayley? Could you just go back  to normal now? K thanks.

For someone who's spent the past three years of her life advocating for mental health, I still have a hard time admitting when I'm not okay. Ironic? 

I'd like to think I'm self-aware enough to know when I need a break, and how to get myself out of a slump. But there's just some things you can't "get over". The past couple weeks have been a golden reminder as to why I started this journey 3 years ago (almost 4!). When you're healthy, it's easy to forget what it's like to be unhealthy. You take the little things (like the ability to get out of bed in the morning) for granted. 

The moment you slip back into the pit, it feels like ground zero. Starting all over again, despite all the work that was put in to dig you out in the first place.  What a life.

I made the decision to go home. 

To regroup. 

To recharge. 

To focus on self-care. 

And family. 

And creativity. 

Six years ago, when I was packing my bags to move as far away from my tiny town as possible, I never imagined moving back.  

Funny how things change as you get older; now I'm counting down the days until I go home. 

See you in Alberta, 

- K

Kayley Reed1 Comment